


I Plead "Not Letting Freaky Alien Girls Lick My Ass"

by NidoranDuran



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Hermaphroditic Trolls, Rimming, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-05
Updated: 2013-10-05
Packaged: 2017-12-28 11:34:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/991556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NidoranDuran/pseuds/NidoranDuran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Terezi is determined to reciprocate Dave's going down on her in the closest way she can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Plead "Not Letting Freaky Alien Girls Lick My Ass"

**Author's Note:**

> Opened myself up to requests on tumblr, and this is the first result.

Dave: dont we get to talk this shit out a little first  
Dave: like in court  
Dave: you like court dont you terezi  
Dave: well make for the honorable judge hold the fuck up stop the presses and stop everything else because no fucking way this is happening  
Dave: i plead not letting freaky alien girls lick my ass

You're about to wonder why you agreed to any of this, before you remember you didn't, and that said freaky alien girl is just being her usual freaky alien girl self again, cackling to herself and licking you in places nobody would ever think to lick; in this case, your calf. You're on all fours, since she's surprisingly strong when she wants to be and if you try to struggle against her she'll start biting. It's kind of like having a bony, picky cat and you realize halfway through that thought that your best course of action is to abort before you compare your girlfriend any further to housepets.

Terezi: YOUR PL34 1S H34R3D BY TH3 COURT 4ND ROUNDLY IGNORED  
Terezi: 4 V1CTORY FOR JUST1C3

The cackle that follows is enough to make you shudder and lean away from her awkwardly. It's a really unsettling laugh that isn't at all helped by the fact you can't tell anymore when it's fake and when it's genuine. But not even in a weird irony way where you have to peel away layers like with anything Bro did; more like a psychiatrist trying to analyze a patient and determine when they need to dick a sick ollie the fuck out of the room. In your world psychiatrists totally skateboard because the 'real' version of the field Rose is always on about bores the shit out of you.

Terezi: YOU 4T3 OUT MY NOOK AND SO 1M DO1NG TH3 N3XT B3ST TH1NG FOR YOU  
Terezi: D34L W1TH 1T  
Dave: yeah exactly i just went down on you and not many guys would do that  
Dave: especially since you didnt feel the need to keep the kraken out of my face while i did so  
Dave: shit im already boyfriend of the year for that now but im totally cashing in for sweet bonus points by telling you that you dont have to do this in return for me  
Dave: call now and ill even go through that trauma a second time and let that thing make friends with my face

Her tongue drags up slowly from your calf, and whatever you were going to say next vanishes in a puff of smoke as your fingers tighten into the sheets. Your cock was a little too worked up from eating her out, because no matter how freaky it is down there and ignoring the fact she's got a weird prehensile dick poised right above it, a pussy's a pussy and it's not like you have any experience with human ones to be able to know the differences. Point is, you've been horny forever, and kind of wish she'd just lick the thing dangling between your legs instead, since not only is that fun for everyone involved, but you don't feel weird about her being around there. It's when she goes lower--or higher, relatively speaking--that you get antsy.

Being a terrible tease, Terezi does decide that the back of your thigh holds less entertainment for her than your dick, so she gives you a sweet taste of what could have been if she wasn't a deviant. Her tongue eases out of her lips and she folds it over your tip just in time to catch a few drops of pre shaking out of it. She laughs, dragging her tongue up the sensitive underside insufferably slowly, letting it wave back and forth, occasionally stopping to let her lips tighten against the skin and give it a loud smacking kiss like she's some freaky chef. 

She thankfully respects your request to not use teeth on your dick. She loves biting you, and in some twisted way she's got you liking it as well, but absolutely nowhere on 'the talent'. That's what you call your dick, because it's ironic to give your genitals a shitty nickname. When she bites your neck hard enough to break the skin and get to your 'candy red blood' like you're a fucking pinata that took a wrong turn and ended up at the cult's place just in time for a sacrifice to the god of whole wheat pasta or whatever shit cults worship, she spends absolutely forever licking the skin. It doesn't allow a clot to form, and she does it for so long that even if you weren't starting to appreciate the pain-tinged pleasure of her jagged teeth pinching into you, the way she made love with her mouth to the open cuts was more than enough.

Her tongue reaches your base and pulls away entirely, her cold and bony fingers grabbing your ass cheeks and you hope at any second that some time travel version of you is going to pop the fuck out of nowhere and tackle her off of you. Especially when that sinister laughter starts again and you can feel her running against a place you really never wanted to feel hot, wet breath run against. The fact you feel the need to note the temperature and relative humidity of her breath does you no favours, and you reluctantly wrap your fingers around the aching dick between your legs because you don't care how uncomfortable this is going to be, you'll probably be able to cum anyway. You're definitely far enough gone by this point.

Dave: youll have to call now because this offer cannot last  
Dave: last train to lets just fuck like whatever passes for normal people anymore

More laughter, and she isn't even responding with words because she's already got her tongue pressing into your squeezed as cheek. You twist a little, unsure about everything because even if it's weird you've come to find that no matter what unconventional place she licks you in, it always feels strangely nice when she isn't rambling on about how nice your blood smells like she's the dorkiest vampire in the world. Her tongue slips down into the middle very slowly, and you can feel your heart dropping so low it's never going to be good for anything but a bass line ever again. Even though you're weirded out by pretty much all of this, you can't help but start to tug on the rigid penis in your hand.

Her tongue flicks against your pucker and you curse, but you're not sure which one you let it because you bury your head into the pillows below you to stifle noises you really didn't want her to hear. They're sort of vindication for it all, and you really don't want to admit defeat before she's even properly got it into you. You just shut up and close your mouth so absolutely nothing that can be used against you in a court of Terezi's madness.

After a few flicks it starts to circle, and you can tell she's doing this to torment you, because her usual approach is just to start lapping at whatever's closest to her mouth like a deranged puppy about to explode if it can't show affection through any means neccessary. Actually, you think that you've just discovered the perfect way to describe Terezi, in some warped manner. Not that classifications are going to do you much good here.

It pushes in, parting your bud slightly, and you're only now aware of just how fast you're jerking off from this. It's embarrassing in ways you're really not ready for, and there is nothing subtle about jerking off in your position so she can tell how badly she's working you over. You don't even need to say anything; she knows that she's got you liking this, just like she made you okay with the biting and with her tentacle dong. You're cursing yourself now, ad you're rather certain which words you're using because there is n point in silence anymore.

There are a lot of things you're not okay with about this, and she's providing contexts you really want to refuse. As with her general licks, she's gotr plenty of saliva everywhere, and you can feel how wet everything is as she squeezes and pinches at your rear. Some of the saliva even trickles down a little to your balls and that's probably the sensation you're most okay with out of any of this, and you wish you could dwell on that but it's rapidly becoming clear that your mind is still that of a teenage boy and it can't stay on examining a situation for too long where sexual pleasure is concerned. You lose track of exactly where your thoughts are going as she pushes her tongue in deeper, and your muscle is driven by reflex to tighten around hers, to hold it in because it feels oddly good.

Your hand is moving with a sort of speed that's a little embarrassing, but it's making her laugh and purr into your ass, so you have little to complain about there. Her tongue twists around, pressing against your inner walls and dragging along in a slow spiral that pushes it deeper into you with each go. You know she's an amazing kisser and can do things with her tongue that most humans would relegate to party tricks, but she puts it to such amazing use and you wonder if asking her to tie the stem of a cherry would be too much. Maybe she'd take it out of context and refer to your blood; you're pretty sure she's used 'cherry' to describe it before. Honestly, it's hard to keep anything straight in the haze of your arousal, except for the fact your freaky alien girlfriend is eating your ass out and you're very sad to say that it feels incredible.

Drops of pre spill out onto the bed below you, and you kind of wish you'd thought to lay down an old blanket or something because that shit's going right onto the sheet, but you aren't stopping for anything now, so you just keep stroking, your body slowly finding itself in a rhythm of rocking back and forth, pushing against Terezi softly and encouraging her to push a bit deeper. She's gripping your ass cheeks with a bit more force than you'd like, but as long as she keeps her head where it is she could be tearing your back open with her nails for all you care.

Her freakishly skilled tongue has ability and length on its side, and by the time she'd averted her weird girldick long enough to cum elsewhere while you ate her out, you were already ready to blow too. You can feel your ass expanding and clenching pretty much at random, but it doesn't feel that way because she's keen to each shift and adjusts what she's doing accordingly. It's admirable, if expert rimming were considered an admirable skill, you guys. Point is, you're fucked, and soon enough you're pumping something that's twitching and spasming in your hand as you shoot your thick, white cum down onto the bed without any care for the fact you'll have to sleep in it later. You give absolutely no fucks about anything other than the immediate need for release, and you moan into the pillows beneath you as she refuses to stop. It's almost cruel, the way you keep stroking even faster the cum's stopped, but she's still going and you don't feel like you have a choice in the matter. At least she's slowing down.

When she finally pulls away, you feel like you're halfway to your next release, but at the same time you're really thankful for it being over, and collapse onto the bed, letting your legs spread out. She lies on top of you, her half-naked body feeling way too comfortable on you for how bony she was and she starts to nibble on your ear. Of course she goes for your fucking ear when it's all done.

Terezi: LOOKS L1K3 SOM3ON3 3NJOY3D TH3MS3LV3S  
Dave: uh yeah i guess i did  
Dave: maybe theres something to being a huge deviant  
Dave: after all im already dating a weird alien chick and your somehow the closest there is to an appropriate romantic interest in this place  
Dave: just promise to lay off the laugh okay that shits creepy and makes me feel like im going to wake up tied to the radiator

Terezi leans in really close to your ear, blowing her breath against it to make you shudder beneath her, and your lips open to express your discontent in time to hear a breathy, slow laugh echoing through your ear. It's not quite erotic because her voice is too comical for that to happen, but it's definitely a shitton more sinister than anything you've heard before, and it lets you know that when you complain, she gets spiteful, and her spite may or may not be horrifyingly sexy.


End file.
